Straight out of an afternoon nap, the words hit me. You deserve better, but you do not act like it. I almost start getting defensive, you know these moments. The moments when it feels like you have two voices within you, where one would be the gentle soft voice, that cares about you, and the other one would be what I would deem, the bully. Yeah, so the two voices that usually do a fantastic job at having me feel straight up crazy, battle it out. I truly was offended at the statement, because here I am, minding my own business and you are going to hit below the belt. UNPROVOKED!
Okay, maybe the thought was not unprovoked. I had been slipping these past few days, letting things slide that I know I shouldn’t have and the truth is, I was tired. You know when you get to a place where being straight and sticking to what you set out to do is plain simply tiring. I was tired of always living above the bar I set for myself.
The bar – As the years have gone by, I have experienced traumas and happiness. Each of these has had its own lessons to bear. I took the lessons and threw out the bitterness. Promising myself to be careful, but not shield myself so much so that I forget to live a full, normal, happy life. This became the bar, don’t settle for less than you deserve, but don’t put yourself behind a wall and ward off potentially great friendships and relationships.
The Problem – I grew tired. I grew tired of having to sniff out bullshit from a mile away. I grew tired of having my guard securely placed, high enough not to let anything unworthy slip through, but also low enough to allow me life experiences that do not end in hurt. Holding the bar up at just the right height made my arms grow tired! Heck, I am as human as the next, so I dropped the bar. When my life seemed to lack adventure, I went in search of it, forgetting that on the other side of this was going to be disaster.
Was it disastrous? CHILLLEEEEE… Did I not just start this off telling you just how I woke up to the words, you say you deserve better but you do not act like it.
This statement hit me square in the chest, because I realized I was saying something I truly did not believe. I said I deserve better, I set my eyes on the better, but a part of me still allowed the bar to fall. It meant that when people who resembled my past tried to walk back into my life, I let them. When things that are supposed to be lessons, and should not be able to get my attention came through, I let them and that’s just it, I say I deserve better, but my actions contradict that very fact.
Words bare no power if they are not backed by action.
So instead of dropping the bar and taking 7 steps back, how about this. Finally mean the words. I mean finally own them. Let the words you speak over your life become your reality. If you say you deserve better? Get up and act like it. It doesn’t matter how long the journey seems, or how lonely the nights. If you say you want someone or something worth your time, how about you spend your time preparing yourself for the said better. It can be a better job, a better apartment, a better business, a better life or better relationships.
You create your reality and if your reality doesn’t match what you profess over your life, than maybe its time to face yourself and ask yourself – am I who I say I am? If the answer is no, that’s alright. You have this moment right here, right now to decide you will change that. The truth is, the power is yours. It has always been yours. It will forever be yours.
From one Powerhouse to another
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