Adulting 101: Entitlement and Expectations

By Rautia Nakanyala

If there’s one great belief or habit I have come to unlearn this year is, feeling entitled and having an uncommunicated expectation. No one owes us anything except for the people that have made a very clear vocal commitment to us: either in friendship, relationship or family but even in commitment your entitlement is very limited. I have saved myself from so much emotional distress ever since I came to accept the fact that no one owes me anything. Sometimes, also, I expect too much from people who are limited when it comes to my expectations. Let me try and break it up for us:

MonoMom: Surviving the Teens

I am probably the least qualified to speak about parenting teens as I’m very new to it, my son is but 14 in a week’s time. So, I literally only have a year’s experience in this regard. However, I would like to think that, as is in the African context, the experience I got from co-parenting my nieces and nephews should also count for something right?

Adulting 101: Joy in solitude

By Rautia Nakanyala

I have realized to be my best to myself and others, I need a lot of solitude, time out or me time, whatever you want to call it. I am naturally a loner by nature, but it took years and growth for me to be able to enjoy my own company, to do things alone and find great joy and peace in them.  

Adulting 101: There’s no ‘what if’

The past weeks have been self-realization weeks. So many things fell into their perfect place. What didn’t make sense, finally made sense; my mistakes and past made sense. My present made all the sense and that’s when I realized that everything is truly the way it’s supposed to be! I was meant to be at this point in my life, doing what I am doing and living this life the way I am. I desire not another life.

Adulting 101: It’s not about you

You will get to a certain point of healing and maturity, where you will have an ‘aha’ moment, that the people who have hurt you had nothing to do with you or what you have done; that we don’t have enough power to control people’s actions towards us and sometimes it’s not about you at all, but it has everything to do with themselves.