5 TIPS ON HOW TO SPEND THIS VALENTINES WHILE SINGLE
It’s year-end and your girl is tired! I mean, all I need is a tall glass of oshikundu, my feet up under a tree playing owela. Nothing more and nothing less. I am not craving white sand beaches, I am not craving an air flight ticket, nope. I want to go home, I want to do nothing and I need you to know and believe it is all I want and need.
Straight out of an afternoon nap, the words hit me. You deserve better, but you do not act like it. I almost start getting defensive, you know these moments. The moments when it feels like you have two voices within you, where one would be the gentle soft voice, that cares about you, and the other one would be what I would deem, the bully. Yeah, so the two voices that usually do a fantastic job at having me feel straight up crazy, battle it out. I truly was offended at the statement, because here I am, minding my own business and you are going to hit below the belt. UNPROVOKED!
One foot in, One foot out
I have a vision board, I created it in January this year as a vision casting board. Its function was to put what I want on a cardboard, large enough to paste pretty pictures on, but also large enough to encompass and bring to life the things I deemed valuable to attain my goals for the year 2018. I took time to create it, I went to great lengths to ensure that each vision was well thought through and attainable within 365 days. I had three focus areas, my academic life, health and business. Simple right? Wrong.
I found it, that deep rooted sense of peace. The one we so often read about, dream about and hope for, a deep rooted peace that overcomes you, and settles in the still places of your heart.
Beauty! What a misnomer. The word has managed to build a multi-billion industry with a particular focus on the beauty that any naked eye can see i.e. external beauty. The industry has everything and anything your money can buy to fit your description of beauty. In the era of the Kardashians, fuller lips, bigger butts, smaller waists and bleached straight hair seem to be the trend. We go out of the way to try and paint the picture that we have beauty through makeup, fancy and/or trendy clothes and for some even through plastic surgery. In essence, directly or indirectly, we are made to believe that our identity is centred on our physical appearance.
In every given situation, there is room to learn. It is with this thinking that I approach all things in life. I have long since made peace with the fact that there will always be something you do not know, a book you have not read and a philosophy you are yet to discover. It took me 24 years of my life to make peace with this, because for the longest time I always felt that I needed to be one step ahead, one too many books read and informed. Wrongfully, I believed that for as long as I kept on reading as many books as I can get my hands one, I would be able to deem myself an intellectual. However, I discovered that a true intellect understands that there is always something to learn, given any situation.
“Because I am female I am taught to aspire to marriage” – Chimamanda Adiche
“My mind was a ball of suicidal thoughts”
By Rena Stephanus
Alright, so writers block is a real thing and I actually took for granted just how real it can be. On the other hand I feel that perhaps I am unable to write unless it is inspired. I have to write from my heart, else I feel like I am just filling words on paper. Truth is that I did not have writers block, I had truths block because my pieces were lacking authenticity and I started writing on matters that were close to my heart, but were not relevant to what was happening in my life. I think the reason I even started this writing journey was to ensure that if ever someone read a piece I wrote, they would be able to relate and could walk away knowing – you know what, I am not alone and if she can be honest about her journey then surely I can too… and surely I will be alright. So I decided to go back to base. To go straight back to where we left off, before I lost the soul of my writing. Let’s catch up shall we (brace yourself, it has been rough)