Dating in varsity can be quite confusing. Some people say this is where you meet the love of your life, while others say this is the time you explore and unleash your inner hoe. Both of these things could be true, after all, people are different and experience different things at different stages, not so?
I am certainly not one to give relationship advice and I am saying this now in bold letters! I am not claiming any expertise on dating etiquettes, however during the 4 years I’ve been here I do know one or two universal truths about university dating which could potentially keep any humiliation or heartache to a minimum.
Don’t expect to be wined and dined
Unless you are dating “Tate Sir”, do not expect John who is only also relying on his monthly allowance from his parents and NSFAF to wine and dine you, like someone who had actual money would. Frankly, I don’t think its fair to expect anyone to bring you the world when all they can carry is their books. Remember that most students are on a tight budget, there’s the monthly cab fair for those who live off campus and grocery money for those who live on campus, then there is the “thrive” which mostly consist of 60% of their already tight budget. Ladies, don’t be surprised if he one day asks you to lend him N$24.00 for cab fare.
One moment’s pleasure does not equal a RELATIONSHIP
Sad as it may sound, just because you both had a wonderful night together and get along so well does not mean you are now officially exclusive! A word of warning about varsity dating. Try to refrain from posting pictures of the two of you and captioning it “LOML” on social media and changing your Facebook status from ‘SINGLE’ to ‘in a relationship’. First just make sure that you BOTH had a serious discussion and BOTH came to a mutual agreement on what this is, otherwise you’ll end up cyber rejected (OUCH!).
I’ll see you around campus does not mean second ‘date
Do not waste your time trying to figure out his timetable so you can ‘run into him’. Campus is a huge place and certainly not like high school where everyone knows everyone. You certainly do not wanna come off as clingy and stalker! Last thing you need is a restraining order against someone.
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
This is varsity, one way or the other, you will have failed relationships and might even run into your ex or two. Or vice versa, you will date someone’s ex. Do not be the sour ex-girlfriend who runs to social media after seeing your ex with his new bae and turn into a motivational speaker writing long statuses about how he’ll never find another like you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but that’s the plan baby girl. Except that it’s over and move on like the adult that you are.
Live in the moment
Between dealing with assignments, tests, trying to keep up with your friends, having a social life and sustaining a relationship, it’s important to just live in the moment. Breathe child, breathe. You can’t juggle too much. Stay focused. Focus on what’s important. Your school work.
As for relationships, chances are 5 years from now you won’t even remember this person’s name, so don’t let them take up too much of your head-space.