Lets just start with the Global Economic crisis.
In my Madea’s voice:
“We was gon’ sort that sh*** out real quick.
Do you know how long we make a N$100 last?
Remember that other time you had exactly a N$500 left to feed the kids, yourself, get to work and back for thirty-onegood days. You made it didn’t you?
And have you seen a MonoMom in her Sherlock Holmes state? We can smell “bs….” uhmmm mischief from a distance! So of course, we were not going to allow tired people from ancient days to take decisions on behalf of the world.
Also, no pun intended Namibia but we were going to find that N$600 million and sort everybody out. We only need about 3million to turn each Namibian into an instant millionaire. (Although that would probably come with its own fair share of problems. Imagine Agogo with a million, atata, what dance moves where we going to be shown?)
We find anything and everything!
A sock, a key, boxers, the last N$20 in Windhoek if that N$20 is meant to feed our little ones.
Just ask mom, she knows where everything is.
We have x-ray eyes, we detect dishonesty intuitively.
We know what’s going on in the next room, the eerie peace and silence just means one thing, the kids have just “levelled up” on their “crazy” .
The less noise you hear, the worse the situation is. All you are praying for as you tip-toe towards the location of certain doom is: “Lord, please let me find them alive enough to remember the butt whipping I’m about to do”. Before you even locate them, you just know, it’s bad, the situation is really bad.
Oh and the miracle of a total moral shift that they say modern day society needs, we got that too.
We perform miracles daily.
Ever received a letter from the school, after dinner, to be exact, around 9pm that has a list of weird and random nonsense that needs to be taken with to school at 7am the following morning?
Sometimes with a non-chalant: “Oh the teacher gave it to us the other day and I forgot to give it to Momma.”
Is it just me or do you guys also throw a little mental tantrum like:
“What you mean you forgot, like because you are thinking about what exactly, you are 10, you don’t have bills, you don’t have crazy deadlines and you sure as hell don’t have to sit and decide which flat tummy tea is the right one, like I need a flat tummy in exactly six weeks for my friends wedding? “
Anyway.
We perform those miracles.
All. The. Time.
We find 6 empty eggshells that aren’t broken.
15 inner carton rolls of toilet paper.
And pictures of different fruit, (thank God for Google).
We do all of that between 9pm and 6am.
Along with trying to catch some sleep, preparing for the meeting tomorrow.
We live, breathe miracles!
Reminds me of something I read the other day:
The difficult we do immediately, the impossible, well that takes us a little longer…
Should I also tell them about how we can instantly paralyse and traumatise childhoods with one glance? Yes. The Look. No need for Operation Kalahari I promise.
Dear MonoMom.
Are we planning that coup or what?
Like we can absolutely do this.
For some reason, Charlie Puth’s One Call Away has been playing in the back of mind and if I could have a sound track for this piece, it would be that song, because for realz’now, Superman got nothing on us.
Please play it out loud Mommy, stand in the mirror and do a crazy dance…
As you read this, I hope you were reminded of how magical this journey is and how much strength and resilience you embody.
Till next week,
Love,
Liv
