Rautia Nakanyala

A week ago, I turned 24 and as with every birthday, year after year, I spend my birthday surrounded by love and take time out to reflect on the past year.

Time is going by so fast. Just yesterday I was turning 18 and one morning I woke up and I was 24; 24 years of a gift to live, to feel and to be.

I call 23 my grace year. His strength was made perfect in my weakness. When I thought I was done and tired of starting over, He used my pain to guide me to a better life. In the past 23 years, I have experienced so much but nothing and I mean nothing could have prepared me for the amount of inner work that I had to do the past year. The learning and unlearning. Finding strength in being vulnerable and letting my loved ones carry me through.

Allow me to share the most important lessons I had to learn:

  • Trust your instincts/visions. A lot of people still wonder which voice to listen to and whether or not to trust their instinct, trust it! You know that bold, crazy voice that evokes fear whenever it speaks to you, listen to it. That vision that you can’t shake off or pray away, believe and work towards it. That is your God and the universe speaking to you. 
  • Don’t take it personally when no one understands or accept your vision. It’s not theirs to do so, but yours. There will be some visions too private, too great and that will require so much more faith that the people around you won’t understand. Accept that and honour it still.
  • Write that vision down, that goal and that dream. Speak it into existence. Earlier this year, I had a completely different life from the one I am living, but I was bold enough to put this life down in a vision board. I thought I was crazy to even think some of those visions will manifest. It was my vision and God provided the how and where.
  • Surrender, surrender to your pain, to your moment, to yourself and your God. The past year I reached a moment in my life where I was ready to go and I felt I had nothing else to give so I surrendered. By surrendering to God, He gave me a new life to live, purpose and new dreams.
  • It’s okay not to be okay. I was shattered when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety because I thought I was too strong to let anything that has happened to me to shatter me, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t superwoman and I couldn’t say I was okay when I was still being haunted by all the pain, abuse and betrayal I hid under the carpet. I had to find peace with not being okay. 
  • Ask for help and accept the help. I hardly ask for help; I am an ‘I will do it myself” type of person but life showed me flames. I was surrounded by so much love, my goodness, my loves showed up and just covered me with love: no questions asked, no preaching, just, ‘I am here and loving you back to yourself’ type of love. Their love held my hand until I was trying enough to start again.
  • Having a tribe of people that love is very important. No man is a mountain. We all need to be loved and cared for. Find people who will do that without expecting anything in return, but remember to have that, you must be that too.
  • Feel. Feel. Feel. Heal. Heal. Heal.
  • A healed person will never take anything people do to them personally. They will understand and know that how people treat you or don’t has nothing to do with you, but everything to do with them and usually their inner chaos.
  • When you put yourself first and your needs, you are a much nicer person. Say no often and more yes to yourself. Never compromise yourself.
  • Love. There’s so much joy and blessings in loving wholeheartedly.
  • Just do it! Start that business. Quit that job. Leave that unhappy relationship and trust in the magic of the unknown and new beginnings. Life rewards the bold steps that make sense.
  • If you fail at anything, there’s great wisdom to learn and it might be ‘the thing that leads to the right thing.’  
  • Accept people for who they are. Love them for their mess too and not just for who they are to you and the potential you see in them. 
  • Keep your heart pure and far away from hate. Don’t let anyone bring you into hating them. Hating is you poisoning your soul, blessings and life. Secure the blessings always.
  • You will be okay. Everything will work out. Just trust every single moment of your life. The loss and the wins.
  • Everything is the way it supposed to be. Everything that has happened to you and in your life and what hasn’t has led you to this moment, to the life you’re living. Instead of wishing for another life, or tormenting yourself with regrets, ask yourself why are here, at this moment and do that.
  • You are love and soul.
  • Find your identity because it’s not the roles you play daily- the roles you choose, and the one’s life chooses for you. You are everlasting, eternal. Roles end but you don’t. Find it so you don’t die while you still breathing. 


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