http://monochromemagazine.net/resignation-letter-with-reason-for-leaving.

 It was a fine, ordinary Tuesday. I was sitting in my office, utterly engrossed in red tape, thinking that my life should be more than this.

Suddenly I felt my heart racing, faster than usual.  I felt immensely weak, as if I was about to pass out.

There was a tingling sensation in my hands and fingers.  My chest was growing tighter and tighter and I gulped for air.

I felt myself tumbling into a dark hole, but I was not sure why.  The sound of my heart pounding resounded in my ear drums.

Lub Dub, Lub Dub, Lub Dub.

I do not know how an out of body experience feels like, but this I am pretty sure,  was it.

I don’t know how but I managed to get myself out of that situation, I mumbled a few words silently to God, I begged, and I bargained. I saw my life flashing before me in my mind’s eye.

However incidents similar to this happened more frequently.  It is such a crippling feeling. Not being able to help yourself and not knowing what exactly is happening with your body.

I immediately made an appointment with my GP and explained to him the symptoms.  He carefully explained to me that I was having mini panic attacks.

Panic Attacks? Why? How?

So many questions….

I have always thought I’m an outgoing person. The truth?   I am not hey.

I am an introvert. (Daddy’s Girl – My Dad is an introvert).

I act outgoing while I enjoy being in solitude, with minimal contact with the outside world. Thus I am labelled as extreme hoity toity diva, because I keep to myself and would not speak unless spoken to.

My job entails addressing crowds, all the time.

How am I having panic attacks? I could not wrap my head around this news.

The doctor gave me a mild herbal sedative and with a smile on his face said: Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious, most people out there take it.

I pulled a face. I am not most people Sir Doctor!

I pulled a face because I thought this Doctor must be on something good, how are most people taking  sedatives and they don’t look the part? Everyone is acting so normal in this world?

Vanity…. Sigh….

What the freaking hell is happening here?

I was reminded of a few years ago, whilst seconded to a project out of town and my colleague assigned to work with me had these weird episodes.

We stayed at the same guesthouse for about 3 months and in the morning whilst having breakfast he would always ask me, Anke, did you hear the cat walking on the roof?

Huh, Cat? Nope.

Anke, I hardly slept.

Anke, did you hear the scratching by the windows?

Huh, Nope.

I thought it weird but didn’t say anything, I am sure my face said it all.

We both had a timetable as to when we needed to present to the audience, and when it was his turn, he would be in and out of the loo, prior to the session kicking off.

Sweating like crazy in the middle of winter.  I was baffled, is the guy hung over?  He would have instant diarrhea, coupled with vomiting.  By the time that we have to start he will be shaking uncontrollably and I would have to take over.

He also consulted a doctor and he was told he was having panic attacks.

At that time, I thought it was extremely funny – because of the unknown. I beg for forgiveness for my arrogance.  Now, years later, I know exactly how he felt.  Because I am experiencing it myself, almost daily.

And it is just not me, another friend of mine experienced similar symptoms and was also told exactly the same thing by her doctor.

I am no guru regarding the topic but I have done some reading into it and I got to learn that severe stress can be a huge factor of panic attacks, amongst other factors.

I found these very useful tips on social media and some of the tips have been a great help to me, allow me to share them with you:

  • Use Deep Breathing,
  • Recognize That You Are Having a Panic Attack,
  • Close Your Eyes,
  • Practice Mindfulness,
  • Find a Focus Object,
  • Picture Your Happy Place,
  • Keep Lavender On Hand
  • Repeat a Mantra Internally

www.healthline.com

 

Are you struggling with anxiety?

How do you handle it?

Let’s be sincere and reach out to each other and fight the battles united.

 

xoxo

‘’Curvy Scorpio’’

 

 

 

 

 

 

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