‘’I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.’’
Hello to Everyone!
It has been a while for me, I found myself needing a break, to re-assess, re-align and regroup, and it happened precisely a week or so before lockdown.
I have seen many opinions on Baby Mamma’s on social media lately, and I have kept my cool and have not engaged in any of the conversations, however, with this article, I would like to give you a glimpse into how I became a Baby Mamma, and why Baby Mamma’s do some of the things they tend to do.
So sit tight, get a warm drink and enjoy.
All little girls, or at least most of them dream of meeting thee guy, picking out wedding china, saying yes to the dress, acquiring the adorable free standing house with a white picket fence, and ultimately being barefoot in the kitchen, heavily pregnant.
All girls, except me of course, the above mentioned things never jumped up in my mind.
I thought myself too selfish to ever be a parent, and I never pictured myself walking down the aisle in a white dress.
Mother Nature however, had bigger and better plans for adventurous me, my biological clock started ticking and I tried to ignore it, I tried to fill the void but alas.
In my late 20’s, early 30’s I found myself in a relationship that was not going anywhere and I grew bored (bored and being a Scorpio does not go well together) and lo and behold, I met someone new. I act most of the time on my feelings, which is not really practical but I took the leap of faith, and left the known behind for the unknown.
I always wonder how it’s so difficult for people to choose, especially when it comes to choosing me, when I instinctively choose them, be it in love, friendship, hardship.
I then seem to know exactly at Hello that you are Worth It, whatever IT may be.
How do you know I am not Worth It?
How do you still need time to assess my worth?
Anyways, the love story soon produced a love child, unfortunately my partner, emotionally left the relationship shortly after the news, he simply was not ready, but he stuck around.
I tried for a year to keep our little family together.
I sat it out, all the humiliation, rejection, lack of love and attention just to be able to say I have a family. I was so afraid of what society and my family would call me if it didn’t work out, and yet every time, my partner’s actions showed me that he did not choose us and that he is not ready.
I thought to myself, how could I have a broken family? The one focused girl you will ever come across. This is not how the story is supposed to end?
How in the world could this be happening to me? And naturally, one is judged for this. So now co-parenting should kick in, which should be easy right, but it is also not. You have to act cordial whilst your heart is breaking still.
When I had to drop our son off the first time to visit his dad, I could not utter a word. I gulped for air and I could not say anything.
There was this huge frog in my throat, however I tried to be friendly, yet professional.
Our son was oblivious to the ‘’weirdness’’ and was so happy and tired upon his return, he enjoyed his day fully.
And the only thing I could think of driving away was: no wonder there is Baby Mamma drama out there… No F…cking Wonder.
It takes courage to not crack and be all sorts of crazy and throw one hell of a tantrum because the beautiful picture you had in your mind of a family is now shredded into two.
No wonder woman do the things they do. I can proudly say, I am not one of those who pull out all stops to get my Baby Daddy’s attention. I also do not judge you if you are, because all those feelings, man, it is understandable.
Never could I have guessed that we would not be chosen, and it is hard to comprehend, you keep searching for your imperfections, and keep thinking what could you have done differently. But let me tell you, it is not you, it is him.
Also, as a side note, if you are the new person he is dating and his Baby Mamma is acting out, chances might be that he has not dumped her officially, so don’t you dare shame her….you don’t know half of the story.
To the Baby Daddys not choosing their Baby Mammas – be clear about your intentions from day one, do not string us along, do not deceive us, say it with your chest that you do not choose them, so that they can go out there and look for a suitable father for your child!
Share your thoughts with Anke