’If you’re never going to talk to me again, that’s okay. I know you promised you would never leave me five months ago while I was crying into your chest, but I also know that sometimes it snows in the middle of April or weeds grow in the middle of a rose garden, so I understand that things happen that aren’t supposed to.’’
From the last letter I ever wrote you.
I have been pondering a lot about this topic over the past weeks and every week I put it on hold.
Now I have finally bagged my first semester of part time studies and I can finally give my thoughts free reign.
One of the reasons I also parked the topic was that I was struggling to formulate the message, I knew what I wanted to say, but I was not sure as to how to say it and not being seen as insane.
Anyway, here goes nothing:
Couples who celebrate their matrimony of 40, 30, 20 years seem to be the only ones ‘’weathering the storm’’ nowadays.
I have yet to come across marriages of 10 years or shorter, that have lasted.
Wherever I go,
Whoever I interact with,
Whatever I read,
I see multiple marriages, or relationships dissolving, and there is almost always another party involved.
It really makes me think whether romantic love is the ‘’be all and end all’’ as we were taught to believe? It also makes my conviction stronger in my belief that some of us are meant to be alone, for the rest of our lives.
Someone the other day during a conversation said, these are evil times my girl, and I agree with her.
Nowadays, we do not mind going after someone else’s partner. We do not mind fighting for what we believe we deserve, whether it means we are compromising our beliefs. It is all just a game, and the best man or woman would rise after the battle.
It is also not a shame anymore to walk out of a marriage or relationship that has lasted for years on end. Back in the day, people would stick it out for the kids, but nowadays, hell no, not even that is glue to keeping him or her in the relationship.
After careful observation, I have come to the following conviction.
Maybe, we are not meant to be with one person for the rest of our lives,
Maybe there is no such thing as “Always and Forever”,
Maybe our hearts are meant to be broken irrevocably over and over in our lifetime,
Maybe, like many other things in this life, we are only meant to be with someone for a certain while and once the person has served his/her purpose in your life, it is time to move on, and this is then why most unions crumble?
I know, it sounds HORRIFIC!
But that is my reality unfortunately.
Nothing seems to last these days, there is no moral compass to keep us afloat. Whether there is a moral compass, we disregard it any way to just get cheap thrills.
So I think, to guard our hearts against all this pain and disappointment, we need to enter each union with the prospect that it will most probably not last more than 5 years, or less.
Let that sink in for a while.