I have always been a loner.
Do not get me wrong. I am not uptight. Neither am I ‘’hoity toity’’. I just prefer my own company. They do say in solitude you find comfort.
My son at times, who has the total opposite characteristics sometimes shakes me and says, speak with your mouth Mamma!
This is when I answer him with a nod. Talking is just too much of an exercise at times.
That has not made me very popular amongst the masses, because it seemed as if I deem myself more important than the rest, which is really not the case. I have mastered the art not to care anyway.
I grew up with a bunch of close knit friends and looking back I can truly say, they are the only friends I have ever had.
We remained friends over the years, however, our interests vary thus we do not have much in common, but the polite check in exists now and then. Not much effort to keep the friendships alive but the courteousness is still there.
The rest came into my life for a season, served their purpose and left. Some can be referred to now as acquaintances, some I would rather not remember.
A few years back I met someone who wanted to befriend me, this after she publicly told everyone what a stuck up, something, something I was. – I should have known then.
I warmed up to her eventually and we had a good thing going for a while. Innocent fun all the time, amidst contrary belief. Mad fun.
It unfortunately ended abruptly as well. Let’s just say whatever was happening in my life, she thought I never deserved, especially the good things that happened. I am not in the mood for an autopsy, so I will not delve into further details.
That has made my stance on friendship change irrevocably. So much that I do not believe in investing in friendships no longer. There is no need to share my life with a ‘’friend’’.
At first I thought it was just a phase, but it is becoming more of a lifestyle, definitely.
I stick to myself and that is easier. I do not feel the need to have a ‘’Bestie’’.
Yes, sure, it gets lonely, but for that I have a sister who is my best friend, one I can talk to, one I can cry with, and one I can laugh with and argue with and tomorrow, no one has lost a chip on their shoulders.
That is also why we have partners set out for ourselves, our partners should be our friends. Keep your circle small. Trust me everything that has been going wrong for so long, will start going right the moment you take out the trashy friendships.
What I have learned from ‘’friendship’’ over the years is:
- No one is really your friend – the sooner you realize that the better,
- The ones that shout from the rooftops that you are their friend might just turn out to be your WORST POSSIBLE enemy – ask my late mother, her bestie stole her husband right from under her nose,
- Friendship is definitely not competition – just because I am having a baby, does not mean you should want one too, your time will come sis,
- Friendship is definitely a healthy, balanced amount of give and take – you can’t just be giving all the time, emotionally, physically, monetary.
- Friendship is about trust – if you do not want to share your deepest darkest fears or secrets with me or even wins then it is not friendship, because why would you hide anything from a friend, then I am a foe?
- Friendship is not about coveting your friend’s relationship, family, material possessions or job.
- Friendship is definitely checking in on someone especially when you know the person is going through the most, or not.
- Friendship is not reading my texts a day after I have sent them, no matter what you are busy with.
- Friendship is not making me feel bad every chance you get because you are in a relationship/situation ship and I am not. KAPISH!
PS: Each to his own, Anja, each to his own.
PSS: I am now only submitting my writings by weekly, due to other expanding commitments. Will share soon enough.