Once bitten, twice shy – has always been a statement that would twirl around in my mind.
This is because it is true.
Whenever you find yourself in a situation in which you pleaded innocence at some point and then life happened and it never quite springs back to how things used to be. Where you once looked on to life with the curious eyes of 3 year old, the loving heart of a five year old and the fervent energy of a 10 year old. You can now no longer help but feel like you walk around like you have the heart of a 70 year old, the hurt of a 50 year old and the reluctance of 26 year old. Life just does not feel the way it used to when you were a child, there lacks a sense of innocence and blind trust.
And… that is okay. It is okay to no longer trust without gauging whether said person deserve your trust.
It is okay to be careful, when gauging who can enter your personal space.
It is okay to observe and make out peoples energy, intentions and personalities.
It is absolutely okay to no longer have the innocence that asks no questions, the forgetfulness that forgives without explanation and the trust that is handed out without it being deserved.
This is because life will teach you lessons. It will hand you lemons. However, that is what it is intended to do. Teach. Once the lesson is learnt, you shed the bitterness and take with you the lesson. The lesson will have you be more cautious next time, whereas bitterness will have you never attempt another time. The lesson will have you ask the relevant questions next time, and not go on feelings without thought, whereas bitterness will have you build walls so high, no one can ever get in. The lesson will ensure that you believe people when they show you who they are and no longer make excuses for the behavior of others, whereas bitterness will have you no longer meet new people because people are best kept at a distance.
What you choose to derive from any situation that life throws your way determines how you will experience it. Every given situation has a lesson, you can choose to either take the lesson or hoard the bitterness. Bitterness robs you of an opportunity to do better next time and has you stuck in the past, holding on to hurt that was supposed to be a lesson.
Drop it. Let it go. Leave all the broken pieces behind, all the unanswered questions behind and all the hurt. Leave it behind and take with you instead the lesson. That you might love again, that you might try again… that you might learn that it is okay to start over again.
It is okay.
No matter how many times you have to start over again, it will always be different. That is because we do not live in past mistakes, we live in the lessons they carry.
That we might start over again.