We all know how frustrating it is when someone abruptly touches and dabs their you don’t know where they’ve been fingers into your beautiful afro crown. Do you shrug them off? Do you wait painfully? Do you wake up in a cell?
We chat to the beautiful 22 year old, Psychology major, Nashya Dunaiski about her hair journey and how she handles those situations.
Who is Nashya?
I’m sorry… Who? Haha, Well… Quite frankly, I’m an old skool Hip Hop head, I’m silly, I love sharing my inner child with the world and I utterly adore always being recklessly happy. I major in Psychology so I’m all about self-improvement and emotional well-being. I grow in tough conditions and I never let anyone dim my light. My friends often tell me “ You give me life/ you are full of life!” So I pride myself on my ability encourage others to be their best selves.
What does your hair mean to you?
My hair is my protection. When I was younger my hair, in its curly/afro form, never really reached down past my shoulders. For that reason I developed this weird habit of tilting my head back a little and lifting my shoulders up by just an inch so I could feel my strands on my skin. Although this little habit of mine caused a lot of muscle spasms and cramps, I never stopped doing it and till today it’s become my “signature” pose for photos. There was something about the way my hair covered my elf ears and long neck that felt comforting, the same comfort I felt when my parents finally decided to put training wheels on my first bicycle.
My hair is also my identity card and an expression of self-acceptance. People struggle to determine my ethnicity or where I’m from, so I’m usually bombarded with the most exasperating question on earth, “What are you?”
This question often has me doubting my own self-concept…, which reminds me of how I’m a work in progress and I am constantly battling myself about who I REALLY am. Loving my self without conditions, letting go of the physical attachments as well as effortless inclination to rely on introspective traits to make me feel beautiful sometimes feels like a losing game. My hair has not only been my saving grace when it comes to striving for these goals in my life, but a reminder of my authenticity and my growing detachment from the need of approval.
Talk to us about growing your hair as a child?
I was born with a full head of hair with baby hairs that attached themselves to my eyebrows. I was often the little curly or bushy headed girl, completely carefree and loving life. Puberty came with the consciousness of my hair and how important it was. Growing up, I always had girls around me with straight, luscious and long hair from countries I eventually started buying my weaves from, so it was always kind of hard being a “Black Maybe” kid who’s body odour smelled like straight up glycerin. My mother always slapped some grease on my hair and sealed it with some gel, but the moment I turned 15 and it was finally up to me to take care of my hair – I screwed it up. Flat irons, Relaxers, and drying out my fro was my forte! This led to hair that ended up looking like if you were to make a chandelier out of straws. It was horrible.
At what age did you become cautious about your hair?
When I was 19, I looked myself in the mirror and told myself it was enough. I searched our house for a “manora” blade and cut the tracks out my hair all by myself. At that point I was ready to not only find myself but also embody whoever the goddess of curly hair was. I was ready to turn back the time and become the little girl I saw in my baby pictures. At that age, I was also aware that the natural hair movement had just started to become “mainstream.”
Turning 19 also marked the time I had fully fallen in love with Hip Hop and accepted that old skool music was a huge part of me.
I remember saying to myself, “ Somebody call Mary J. Blige cause I think I found a real love.” I was totally ready to accept my God given crown.
How has your journey been since?
A natural hair journey mimics any strong relationship or friendship one has with someone they truly love or care about. I’ve gone from fully loving my hair to hating the crap out of it to loving it again! As much as I nurture this relationship with my hair, my hair and I argue all the time. We backtrack, we grow, we break but we grow again and to be quite honest, that’s the beauty of it. My hair and I stick it through because this love pretty much conquers all. I often ask myself – what if by tomorrow all my hair was gone? What if there was no hair to protect me? I could lose all my hair for a number of reasons and then what? Would I still be me? Would I have lost myself? – No.
This journey isn’t just about the inches I can grow out my scalp, its mainly about the wisdom, self knowledge, and commitment to the relationship I have with my soul. The inner me/ the real me.
Talk to us about routine..
My routine is kind of simple;
I wash my hair once a week with sulfate-free shampoo; I then follow this up with a conditioner that is all natural. This means that I’m looking for products that have;
- No Sulfates
- No Parabens
- No Phthalates
- No Paraffin
- No Propylene Glycol
- No mineral oil
- No Additives
- No synthetic fragrance or color
I leave that in my hair for about 5 minutes then rinse.
Or; after a shampoo I’ll use a deep conditioning treatment on my strands. I coat each strand and put my hair in about 6 twists, cover it with a shower cap, wrap my hair up with a scarf or satin bonnet, then I’ll keep it in overnight.
In the morning I rinse out the treatment, dry my hair with an old T- Shirt or micro-fiber towel, slap on some leave in conditioner, seal it in with my favourite oil and style as usual.
I deep condition once a week and always follow this up with a hot oil treatment to get my dose of both protein and moisture!
During the week, I oil my scalp every night or every other day, it depends on how I feel. Peppermint oil has been proven to stimulate hair growth as it increases blood flow to the scalp. So I usually mix my Peppermint oil with some castor oil and massage that oil mixture in as often as I can.
Protective styling is a must, once I seal my strands with the leave in conditioner + oil, I leave my hair in a bun or do some low manipulative styles and leave that untouched for a week or two at a time.
Once a month, I make sure to do an Apple Cider Vinegar rinse! This is great for completely cleansing the scalp and adding shine to my hair. I used to dilute my ACV with water, however now; I simply put it in a spray bottle and make sure to spray it directly on my scalp. I massage it in and leave it in for 45 minutes before my weekly washday.
Do’s and Don’ts ?
My Do’s would include;
Oil your scalp as often as possible, keep it moisturized as all times, low manipulative style, keep your hair stretched out, and lastly leave it alone. Leaving your hair alone can minimize breakage and retain all that length.
The Don’ts; I hate to be natural hair Nazi, but I have found that the less heat I use, the healthier and faster my hair grows. Do not use a towel to dry your hair, try a microfiber towel or an old t-shirt, this is great for retaining moisture! Do not use any products that contain sulfates. Lastly, limit the use of flat irons for at least 3 months at a time or not at all.
Are you happy with your hair at the moment?
I couldn’t be happier with my hair. It’s becoming everything I have prayed for it to be.
Aspirations for it?
I’ve recently been researching a bunch of Indian hair secrets for long and healthy hair and I’m confident that if I keep my normal routine and add some Indian ingredients to my oil mixtures and hair treatments, I’ll make it to bra-strap length by May 2018. Eventually, I really want to grow my hair to tailbone length.
What would you have done differently, looking back now?
If I could go back in time, I’d make sure to tell myself how it isn’t cool to duct tape brown leaves to brittle branches. At some point during my adolescence my hair had become so damaged, so I forced my mom to get me my first 16 inch Brazilian bundle. This was probably the biggest mistake. Sew-ins are wonderful, don’t get me wrong. At the time though, I had no idea how to take care of my hair under a sew-in. I would keep it in two months at a time and every time I went to my salon for a re-install, I would watch clumps of hair fall out my scalp. Despite the hair fall, coupled with my phobia for short and thin hair, I slapped those bundles on every month for 4 years straight. I wish I never learned about extensions. I also just want to curse the creator of the flat iron and society for making it hard for Black Women to feel beautiful.
What do you love the most about your hair?
I love how diverse my hair can be. It can be curly, kinky, straight, wavy – Lord, anything is possible.
Favorite hair products?
I am a natural hair product junkie! I love anything and everything made for kinky hair. My favourite brand of natural hair products is definitely Shea Moisture! I’d suggest their Jamaican Black Castor Oil line as well as the Coconut and Hibiscus line. Aunt Jackie’s is also one of the best brands for natural hair on the market. You really can’t go wrong with buying any or every one of their products.
What’s your favourite hair state?
My favorite hair state would have to be when I stretch out my hair. I simply take my Denman brush and set my hair dryer on cool or medium heat then blow out my hair to the point where it’s fully stretched out and kinky. I love this style because it’s such a statement- I love turning heads with my kinky hair. Who doesn’t love big fluffy and voluminous hair anyway?
So like who is allowed to touch your hair?
Don’t touch my hair! I don’t feel anyone should be touching things that do not belong to them. Not only is my hair just hair, but it’s a symbol. It represents my name, my skin colour, my body and my emotions. I am not an exhibit, spectacle nor am I wearing a costume.
I, like any other human being, deserve to just be left alone to simply BE.
“Can I touch your hair?” How do you deal with those?
It’s funny because by the time they ask this question, they’re already knee deep in my mane. At this point I’m contemplating hurting someone’s child, but I simply take a breath, smile and take a step back. I say my “Thank yous “ and walk away.
What do you wish people knew, taking care of your hair entails?
Taking care of my hair entails a lot of listening and being mindful. It’s about learning what my hair loves and what it hates. It’s about choosing to only do the very things that it loves. It’s almost as if my hair came with a set of “How to love me” instructions, but its up to me to figure them out via trial and error.
Message to 12 year old you (about her hair)
“The most beautiful things in the world are those that stand out and are unique. It’s okay to look different to those around you. Love your hair and who you are because you were given natural beauty. You were given a crown, so flaunt it.”
How do you deal with these situations? Tweet us! @monochromemag
Follow Nashya:
Twitter: @NNachas1
Instagram: @nasherss
