The #MenAreTrash hashtag has been trending on all social media platforms for quite some time now. The hashtag started off as not only a cry for help but a sign of solidarity and unity amongst women all over the globe. For all the times women constantly had to live in fear. For the times they can’t take moonlight walks or meanders because it turns them into prey. There are ravenous beasts out there who lurk in various spaces, threatening a woman’s very existence, in clubs, at home, on the streets, on campus, at work, even in taxis!
“Asking me if men are trash is like asking me if we breathe oxygen. Majority of their actions can be summed up into these points, entitled, narcissistic, liars, babied, arrogant, egotistic and lastly hypocrites.”, says a lady who just wants to be known as Rubbi.
Many women believe that men are trash because woman are constantly in fear of men, the same men who are supposed to be our protectors have turned to be the same people who abuse, rape and kill women.
“I believe men are trash because a man can impregnate a woman and at the end of the day act like it was all her fault than they leave an innocent child to grow up fatherless and broken. They abuse and beat women half dead, sucking out their good aura and let’s not forget insecure men that emotionally abuse women to make them feel better. There are men molesting their daughters, the same men that are supposed to be our protectors.”, says Jeaneth Shapumba.
What most people don’t understand is, this movement wasn’t started because of relationships, it’s more of a collective of the awful things men do towards women. From the major things such as; The Killing, the physical, emotional, sexual, even financial abuse, the raping of young women and children to even things you would consider minor such as the cat-calling, injustices against women in the workplace, homes, schools, everywhere. It’s not only the people who commit this terrible acts that are considered trash but it’s inclusive of all the men that had the chance to stop these acts from happening but did nothing. The men that watched their friend spike a young lady’s drink at the funeral and later took her home and tried to justify his action by saying she asked for it. Or the guy that raped a young woman and later gave the same excuse. “She asked for it because she wore a short dress.”
Shockingly though, “not all “people believe men are actual trash. There are quite a number of people who believe in the #NotAllMenAreTrash movement too. This movement was created in response to the #MenAreTrash for all those men and women who believed this was not true.
Firstly, men are not trash, the only reason why woman would say this is based on what the man has done to her. This “man’ could be her boyfriend or an ex. Generalizing the term is heart-breaking because some innocent creatures are being dragged under this same category whilst they do the complete opposite which is actually treating the female specie with respect. A man being labelled as trash raises an eyebrow and gives the listener the impression that the female has ‘daddy issues’.” – That is what Lisa Poniso has to say when asked if she believed men are trash or not.
Little do they know that, what this hashtag (#NotAllMenAreTrash) does is silence women. It suggests that women do not know what they are talking about and they should just keep quiet because the way “they behave” is why they are treated this way, contributing to victim blaming. By saying not all men are trash, men are defending themselves, they are not held accountable for their actions and sure as hell do not take responsibility for their actions. This also means that men are more concerned about their image and ego instead of the ample evidence that proves that men indeed are trash. It also suggest that this hashtag only implies relationships/love interests when in fact we are talking about the system that is built to work for men and men only; the pay gap, women not getting the same opportunities men do, men being able to live and act the way they want to while every ounce of being women is spat at. The list goes on.
If men are truly not trash then why is it that most men do not have the courage to speak out against their abusive friends? Why do they sit and watch their friends spike women’s drinks in the club? Why do they look away when they see their friends rape? Why are they comfortable that they get better pays just because they are men?
The #NotAllMenAreTrash movement allows men to continue preforming socially acceptable toxic masculinity without major consequences and when women argue that they do not “attract trash” because they have great fathers, boyfriends, uncles (whether true or not) the very real patterns of abuse, rape, and toxic masculinity that the #MenAreTrash movement aims to expose are obscure. It undermines the aim of the movement further diverting attention away from the victims to the abusers. – Sibongile Matebese
What are you, as a man, doing to help women stay safe? How are you educating your fellow men about why we are saying #menaretrash? What discussions are you having with your friends other than the premier league, manipulating women and beer? Are you aware of what’s happening to women all over the world? Do you care?
It’s just painful that as women, we constantly have to live in fear, constantly have to look over our shoulders, wondering if any day now, we may be next.
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