Soon, we will be celebrating Father’s Day.
What are the traditions you and your family follow? A big breakfast for Daddy by the kids with the help of Mummy, coupled with a nice pressie?
In my household, these celebrations are NON–EXISTENT! I believe in the act of reciprocity. And I believe in being petty, yep that is me.
So if you do not do it for me, why should I?
I saw on the socials the other day, there was a suggestion to cancel Father’s Day as too many Namibian Fathers are dodging their responsibility.
Anyways, today I want to tackle a heavy topic.
Financial support by our Namibian Fathers, whether we are a couple or co-parenting. Just the financial side, not the being present part, that we can chat about on another occasion.
It seems that as women, we are allowing our fellow men to get away with the proverbial murder.
He refuses to support the kid, so let him be. He will just curse the child. – That is what we a lot of woman are saying. We accept our fate and hustle alone.
So many women that I know of, who have a child or children accept the fact that the fathers are not pitching in financially. You might be saying not me, but trust me there are many out there who allow this. And this is totally okay for society or for you as a woman living in this era? Like how?
Is this part of being submissive?
You are trash, if you do not support your child financially! Finish!
Any small amount can make a difference and the load of the mother a lot less heavy. Let us also be clear, we do not use that money for ourselves. When last have you seen the prices of clothes, food, school contributions, etc?
How do you think your child is being raised? The child you conceived out of passion and love? On water alone? What keeps that child warm at night, now that it is winter? Did you offer to give something extra for winter clothes or are you just living it up? Buying yourself designer jerseys and coats?
Daddy is out there living it up, weekend after weekend. Bottle after Bottle.
Utter blasphemy I would say.
It is the duty of both parents to sustain a child financially. Not just the duty of the mother. Whether you are in a relationship or not.
Believe me even within marriages, the mothers are at times the sole caregiver in all aspects of the child.
I took to the streets and got the following feedback:
Me: There is this belief that as women we must struggle for our kids alone financially. Daddy does not need to contribute, whether we are a couple or co-parenting. What is your take on this?
Susan: I am one of them, and I admit it is such an old fashion mentality, maybe it is the way I was brought up, I don’t know why I regard this as acceptable. In my tribe it is also a belief that if you bother the father with financial responsibility he might curse/bewitch the kids. Thus, I choose to keep quiet, I am the sole financial provider for my kids. I believe God will deal with him. Naturally he does not make any effort in sustaining them one bit.
Gisela: I am all for it. Father’ need to take care of their children too. I am married, yet I demand that my husband contribute financially for the kids, apart from other household expenses.
Charmaine: I believe it is both the duty of the mother and the father to financially sustain a child, not just the mother. I demand this from their father even though we are no longer in a relationship. It goes without saying.
Last but not least, I have been personally in this predicament whereby my baby daddy felt I earn a good salary so he does not need to contribute. Whoever is now in the same shoes, I just want to tell you that there is help and the law can bring him to support his child if all else fails. Don’t let them get away with murder.