I was constantly surrounded by soccer loving friends and soon it became my hobby too, talk about peer pressure.
I ended up loving it.
Nothing beats the energy in a stadium when watching a live match.
After music, I am convinced that it is the second best feeling I have ever experienced. Okay, maybe third best feeling…
I attended a live local match once with friends and we decided to go for drinks afterwards, and it was the topic that arose that day that visited me over the weekend and that triggered this write up.
One of our friends was on the verge of getting married, the other one was married and I was engaged – Imagine. The company I was in was mostly male, due to my personal preferences. So I regarded them as my brothers and I asked them a question I couldn’t dare ask my female friends.
I was happily engaged – (so I thought) but I found myself attracted to someone else. Oops. Does that really happen?
And the attraction happened in such a weird way. I spoke to the person over the phone and it was business related and after the call I thought to myself, this must be a hotty, however, when we eventually met, he turned out not to be a hotty. Bummer.
Our first face to face encounter was another ball game, I felt thunder, lightning, and everything else go through my entire body. The touch of his skin, when he greeted me, sent shivers down my spine.
We worked closely together, and I had to contain all these feelings I was experiencing when he was around but soon to my surprise, the brother shared his position which was definitely mutual. The situation was tricky, and I have always been a daring type of girl but this one was too humungous for me, you do not tempt fate like that.
So back to the question I asked.
What do you do when you find yourself attracted to someone who is not your partner?
I could hear a needle drop in the silence that engulfed us. The older of the pact took it upon himself to answer. He said, the mutual attraction, or attraction to someone else is quite normal, however it is what you do about it afterwards that makes it an issue. He tried to balance it out with the explanation that we are human beings and we should do the right thing and not act on these feelings. The secret lies in not acting on these feelings. Apparently.
I was so relieved when he told me that.
I prayed in my solitude for having unpremeditated feelings and thoughts and I vowed to dedicate myself again to the one man I have known. Only now, years later I realize he told me what was acceptable, not what is necessarily the truth?
You know what always bothered me about committing (and I do not have commitment issues) to one person is, what if after years and years and years together you wake up, and you realize this is not IT, or this is not who I Love No More, or waking up next to the person and realizing the person next to you is a stranger. You just cannot pack your bags and go. That thought to me, is terrifying.
I bumped into an old attraction recently, and after the first encounter, I knew that the attraction we had in the past, is still very much alive and kicking. So I played dead, for six months, to uncalled feelings. And now out of nowhere, we are bumping into one another more than usual, and the last encounter, left me as red as a cherry, I felt as fuzzy as a soda and yep, the non-verbal cues from him and from the communication we had says it all, but now the real challenge sets in, whether or not to act on it or not. I know, I know, I will be a true to myself and my values and not act.
So what about you? Do you act on that attraction, or do you side with my friends’ take on it. Not to react. And be honest, even if it is just with yourself. It is the kind of thing that attracts a moth to a flame, and as humans, we love drama and we love adrenaline and yet, it is life changing and not without consequences….
But I do know the answer my friend gave to an innocent young girl back then, holds some truth.
The devil is a liar.
Stay true to yourself, and your purpose.
Oh and of course, take a cold shower! It helps every time.
xoxo
Curvy Scorpio
