There’s a lot of truth in the saying “money makes the world go round”.  Whether we admit it or not, we’re always thinking about money. Some think about how to make it, others about how to spend it and others how to save it. For those reasons, it is really a delicate subject that has since time immemorial been a source of conflict. So whether dealing with friends, colleagues or family, one has to practice the right etiquette to avoid the usual money faux pas.

You’re probably asking, “There is such a thing as money etiquette?” Oh yes! As a matter of fact, there’s etiquette in everything, as you’ll soon realize.

When people think of etiquette, they think about what fork or knife to use at formal dinner events or how to behave in the presence of royalty. It’s much simpler than that: at the heart of etiquette is nothing more than basic good manners.

Basically, these are the rules indicating the proper and polite way to behave in any given social or business situation. It should never be confused with laws for its stems from culture and everyday habits.

So with each monthly edition, you’ll learn the best way to handle different everyday situations like you’re Queen Elizabeth. Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a little because am certain she has never had to split the bill with some friends or even had to ask for a loan from a friend. These are some of the everyday situations that may give rise to the awkward “money” moment.

Here are some of the common everyday issues we encounter and how to handle them graciously:

Giving and paying back loans

If you borrow money, pay it back within the agreed timeframe. If you run into problems and you can’t pay back as agreed, inform the person in good time. On the other hand, if you loan money to friends and family, leave room for disappointment and be prepared to write it off as a bad debt. If you’re serious about the loan, make sure you make them sign an acknowledgement of debt. Just in case you need to sue them one day!

Asking and answering, “how much do you earn?”

Asking someone about his or her income is and will always be one of the most invasive questions when it comes to money. Am sure we all grew up being reminded not to talk about how much you earn or how much something costs. If you find yourself in that uncomfortable situation, it’s always best to swiftly change the topic to something else. The most appropriate response would be “I make enough to get by”. So unless you’re a recruiter (BTW, you’re not legally obliged to answer them either) or someone’s spouse, don’t even think about asking how much a person earns.

Eating out with friends: going Dutch or splitting the bill?

When you eat out with other friends, do you pay for what you consumed  (Going Dutch) or split the bill equally regardless of what each person consumed? This can be a source of conflict and leave people feeling disgruntled. I remember back in the days when my crew and I just started working, we regularly eat out or partied together and paying the bill was always a nightmare. Luckily, with time one of us became the “auditor” checking the bill and making sure that everyone paid his or her due. But this soon become another nightmare and we silently adopted the rule to split the bill. It was easy for the auditor to just divide the bill by the number of people and everyone pays whatever despite what they consumed. This was obviously easy because we all enjoyed the same drinks and agreed to either a start and a main course or just the main course.

It’s very important to decide beforehand whether you’ll be splitting the bill or Going Dutch. When booking the table, ask the restaurant if they usually provide separate bills. If they don’t, it’s best to advise each person to bring along enough money to cover his or her bill. Other ways to manage the situation between friends that eat out regularly include: one person paying and is repaid later by the others and taking turns paying the full bill. You can use a bill splitting App like WeSplit or SplitWise to make things easier.

On a date: who pays the bill?

The simple rule is that he or she who invites pays. But here’s the tricky part: traditionally, guys have always and mostly still do the asking out. So how do we deal with it in the new age of gender equality? Ideally, this is something you and your date should discuss beforehand. If at the end of the date, there’s a huge possibility that there could be a second date, then one can pay and the other picks up the next bill. But in the unfortunate event that it’s likely the first and the last, split the bill or go Dutch, whichever suits you.

Always strive to practice good money etiquette. It’ll save you friendships and family relationships in the long run!

Njekwa is a Lawyer, Etiquette & Protocol Consultant and host of the online radio show Everyday Etiquette | @EveryDEtiquette Blog | www.njekwamwamba.com